Greetings from the quarantine! How have you guys been getting by? Me? I’ve drank more Pepsi than any human should really be able to, plugged a baby into my wife (self congrats on the sex), and have become absolutely 100% addicted to mock draft simulations. Look man, you take away sports gambling from me and this is who I become.
I can’t stop. I dream in future picks. Don’t I look happy? I’ve mocked as 22 NFL franchises and plan on getting three or four more done today. One time I cursed at the computer generated Chargers GM because he wouldn’t accept my trade terms. I mean I really laid into him… We’re talking F’s, S’s, B words and one C word under my breath so god wouldn’t hear. My wife woke up at 1:30am last night to find me huddled under a mountain of blankets with the steady glow of blue light emanating from my laptop, trying to decide if I should take Logan Wilson or Reggie Robinson in the 4th round. I made a trade and got them both. Needless to say I killed that mock and crawled into bed a conquering hero.
PFF’s new 2020 draft simulator, Pro Football Network, The Draft Network; you name it, baby I’ve done em all. Each day a new mock. A new team. New trades. A new simulation. I like PFF because it gives me grades on picks AND trades, but their trading system is a bit clunky as of this writing. Draft Network is very streamlined and pretty, but you gotta be a PREMIUM member to make trades. Pro Football Network are the bad boys of the mock draft simulators. Tough to read. Ads everywhere. Draft needs look like my sister put them together, and she couldn’t tell the difference between a football and a hole in’er ass, but fuck if they don’t have solid trade algorithms that make sense and a selection process that feels realistic, at least in my many trials.
PFF is my go to, purely because of their grading system.
Nothing makes me feel better than knowing a trade I made works in my favor 53% of the time. I like knowing that imaginary GM Logan is doing right for the imaginary fans of the team he works for. Also, no fucking judgement on this draft. I was messing around and that 62.5 grade DOES NOT represent my PFF prowess. I live in the high 60’s/low 70’s range and and I challenge anyone to doubt it. In this little scenario as the Raiders, for instance, I absolutely cleaned up after raking Seahawks GM John Schneider over the coals.
Look out Mayock you little bitch I’m coming for ya neck.