Shit In One Hand, Hope In the Other: Your NFL Wild Card Weekend Preview

Well, it’s finally here. Playoff time. No more bullshit. No more distractions. No more weird ass stories about a drunk ass pizza CEO complaining about black guys then later losing his job and tanking his company stock for complaining about black guys. You know once Papa John made that complaint he was only gonna last about 15 seconds. 15 seconds? Reminds me of another guy who used to love Louisville, but I digress. Anyway what I’m trying to say is that now its time for the good shit. Well at least in one conference.

Look guys, the AFC absolutely STINKS. It’s the Pats (who apparently are eating themselves from the inside), and the Steelers, (who have a perpetually concussed QB, a drunk broken hip havin’ ass OC, and a head coach whose only skill is looking angry into the camera.) Other than that it’s Alex Smith, Blake Bortles, Tyrod (who I love), and MM. Not exactly a ton of experience or success in the post season. Compare that to the NFC, who has 3 QB’s who have been to the SB, and 2 elite defenses with capable QB’s who are currently playing out of their skulls. So lets preview this bad boy shall we?

THE SHIT

Bills @ Jaguars

You guys know how I already feel about the Bills, but if I’m being objective? They’ll be lucky to score 20 points. The right side of the offensive line is not good and the Jags have a dirty D. Combine that with Shady maybe playing on one leg and a potential Marcell Dareus revenge game, and it should spell trouble for the Bills. Crazy thing is, 20 points could be enough! Blake Bortles is trash or garbage or whatever the hell that bust from South Carolina called him, and if the Bills focus on taking away the run game, the Jags will have to rely on Blake and god what an awful feeling that has to be. This game should be a slog and i think that really favors the Bills, but they are going to need to win the turnover battle to be able to steal a victory on the road. I mean it could happen. And the more I watch this, the more I believe it WILL happen.

Titans @ Chiefs

Seriously. I like the Chiefs I guess? They have some spectacular weapons. But it’s playoff Andy Reid. Once January hits he forgets how time works and how many time outs you get during an NFL football game. The Titans backed into the playoffs and are probably going to fire their coach come Monday. Plus, I have no idea what the hell Mariota is right now. He and Winston have really just kinda sucked from that draft haven’t they?

THE HOPE

I could seriously make a case for any one of these teams playing this weekend in the NFC to make the Superbowl. They all have capable defenses and great quarterbacks. These games entertainment value should far exceed that of the AFC.

Falcons @ Rams

This should be the game of hyperbole. I guarantee we are going to hear how the Falcons still haven’t played their best football, how the Rams don’t have the experience, and how offense doesn’t translate to the playoffs. Good thing for the Rams they have the human soul destroyer in Aaron Donald. Everyone is going to be smitten with the weapons and the sheer firepower both teams have, but I really think this one is going to be an Ed Orgeron Special: one that’s won in the trenches, and that favors the Rams.

Panthers @ Saints

This one should be fun. However this one ends, I know I am gonna get one of two things: Cam Newton in a wild hat, or Cam Newton pouting and insulting a reporter. Gotta love it. The Saints can run the ball now, and that has totally revamped Drew Brees and the Saints passing game. Add a legit talented defense and the Saints could qualify as my official “make some noise” team of the post season. The Panthers have some solid weapons too, but Cam is susceptible to odd stretches of incompetence and it makes him hard to trust. Whotheysay gonna beat them Saints? Probably not the Panthers.

Looking for more Wild Card Weekend info? Check out the latest podcast featuring straight up and against the spread picks along with daily fantasy advice

 

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